By Sonny Bohanan
The devil went down New Orleans,
He was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind, he was way behind,
Then he remembered the Ray Lewis deal.
He didn’t know Ray was in the Super Bowl,
He hadn’t kept up that well.
But he knew one thing for damn-well sure,
Ol’ Ray was goin’ to hell.
Ray had signed in blood without a thought
Of when the reaper would call.
All he knew was he needed a way to escape
The long, nosy arm of the law.
It was 2013 and the Ravens were rolling,
They returned a deep kick one-oh-eight,
When Jim Nantz’s voice went dead on the air
And the devil seized Lewis’s fate.
Mephistopheles had an ace up his sleeve:
The Katrina survivors wanted vengeance.
“Cut the lines!” he commanded, and the ones who’d been stranded
At the Superdome jumped at the chance.
The lights went out, the delay seemed unending,
Then the Niners went postal, yes, medieval.
It looked like the devil would indeed have his day,
Then God said, “Hell, no, this shit’s evil.”
He stepped in for the Ravens, as the devil slunk off,
And Ray Lewis crossed himself yet again.
“All the glory to God,” Ray said after the game,
And he winked and God winked and Amen.